It's the last day of 2006. This has been a very full year for me. Many changes. I think every year I learn something and so I wonder what is the knowledge I have earned.
Experience is more important to me than comfort.
I have chosen to live my life in service to art, truth, movement, and exploration.
I love London.
Everyone is responsible for the forward movement of their life.
I am a performer. I am not ready to be a director.
I am a paradox of grounded insanity and responsible chaos.
I have great strength and beauty.
I need to focus on the details, I have a good grasp on the exspansive and free.
Confinement teaches you some of the best lessons. Freedom, though wonderful and essential, teaches you less about yourself. Freedom is the reward of confinement.
I love my family. I love having a community. I am a social creature.
In Spanish, you say that you wash your teeth (lavar) instead of brushing them.
Love is hard, illogical, and completely rooted in the body, not necessarily in the mind. Thinking about emotions is like trying to race with your reflection.
What about you?
Images that move me
by Langdon Graves
Friday, December 29, 2006
I was reading today and came across a very striking quote.
"What luck for rulers that men do not think." - Adolf Hitler
Muh love to all my thinking friends out there.
"What luck for rulers that men do not think." - Adolf Hitler
Muh love to all my thinking friends out there.
Monday, December 25, 2006
Saturday, December 23, 2006
I am officially on vacation. My last day of work was yesterday and school ended the week before. This christmas break has been all about recuperation. I got a bacterial infection in my throat two days after school ended and so I am currently eating penicillin four times a day. Also, I haven't had the urge for the past week to drink and be merry. I have mostly wanted to be at home, make a good meal and share it with two or three friends. Maybe that has something to do with the being sick thing. I'm a little messed up emotionally in all the right ways. I miss my family and friend in Oregon, I miss my family and friends here, I miss my good health and I miss school.
Anyways, it has become freezing here. Below zero in celsius, which is the temperature at which water freezes. You can see your breath, you don't see the sky, and there is fog everywhere, this isn't helped by the fact that everywhere in the news here in London (DISCLAIMER: MOM don't worry.) there is news about a guy who is copying Jack the Ripper by killing prostitutes. (MOM don't worry because I'm not a prostitute.) The police have arrested four men (each one gets a disgusting tabloid splash of press) but they haven't said that they think they have captured the guy. But the whole thing, combined with the weather has made me feel like winter is here and I'm really in London.
I'm in love with this city. There are beautiful contradictions everyday from simply the mix of Architecture, the mix of people and cultures, to the hundreds of dramatic moments I experience on the tube, in the street, and with my friends. It's lovely here. I want to stay forever. I've never felt at home in a city so quickly, nor have I ever had such a loving support family of friends so quickly. Natali and Marta, two of my flatmates, have gone home for Christmas and won't be back till January. It's just me and Ruben in the house.
A bunch of my classmates are getting together for a slumber party for Christmas. Food, drink and lots of people sounds like a good time. I do miss my family and I'm sad I won't see them, but I'm going to try to video chat with them if I can find someone there that knows about computers a little. Maybe my brother. I miss the Patterson De Tarr family as well, I've spent the last three years at their house for the holidays and so I have to admit that I miss their festivities as well. I hope they are happy and doing well.
Now I have two weeks of nothing to do. I thought I would go crazy and do silliness but I find that my usual partners in crime are either sick like me or out of the city for the Holidays. Recuperation is good. I think I'll go to Museums. Ruben wants to rent a car and drive up to Stonehenge between Christmas and New Years. Sounds kind of fun.
I love you all and have Happy Holidays. I wish you warm homes, happy hearts, and good health.
Anyways, it has become freezing here. Below zero in celsius, which is the temperature at which water freezes. You can see your breath, you don't see the sky, and there is fog everywhere, this isn't helped by the fact that everywhere in the news here in London (DISCLAIMER: MOM don't worry.) there is news about a guy who is copying Jack the Ripper by killing prostitutes. (MOM don't worry because I'm not a prostitute.) The police have arrested four men (each one gets a disgusting tabloid splash of press) but they haven't said that they think they have captured the guy. But the whole thing, combined with the weather has made me feel like winter is here and I'm really in London.
I'm in love with this city. There are beautiful contradictions everyday from simply the mix of Architecture, the mix of people and cultures, to the hundreds of dramatic moments I experience on the tube, in the street, and with my friends. It's lovely here. I want to stay forever. I've never felt at home in a city so quickly, nor have I ever had such a loving support family of friends so quickly. Natali and Marta, two of my flatmates, have gone home for Christmas and won't be back till January. It's just me and Ruben in the house.
A bunch of my classmates are getting together for a slumber party for Christmas. Food, drink and lots of people sounds like a good time. I do miss my family and I'm sad I won't see them, but I'm going to try to video chat with them if I can find someone there that knows about computers a little. Maybe my brother. I miss the Patterson De Tarr family as well, I've spent the last three years at their house for the holidays and so I have to admit that I miss their festivities as well. I hope they are happy and doing well.
Now I have two weeks of nothing to do. I thought I would go crazy and do silliness but I find that my usual partners in crime are either sick like me or out of the city for the Holidays. Recuperation is good. I think I'll go to Museums. Ruben wants to rent a car and drive up to Stonehenge between Christmas and New Years. Sounds kind of fun.
I love you all and have Happy Holidays. I wish you warm homes, happy hearts, and good health.
The Tube
Here is a video of my wonderful Flatmate, Ruben, from Mexico City. We were on the tube and I had my camera. He is a beautiful mover. The girl is Marta, my other flatmate. They got 10p!
Friday, December 22, 2006
London, Flatmates, and Butterflies
Here is a montage of my flatmates, london, and a leaf we found that looks like a Butterfly.
Web Chat. The Technology of the World is so Amazing.
So, if you have MSN Messenger we could have a conversation where you see and hear me!!!! I've figured out that my camcorder works with MSN messenger but not with Skype. Oh well, same difference. They do the same thing. So if you have MSN messenger, look me up under Dweezleroo@msn.com.
We can't chat as if we were big CEOs, bleck. Much Love!!
So, if you have MSN Messenger we could have a conversation where you see and hear me!!!! I've figured out that my camcorder works with MSN messenger but not with Skype. Oh well, same difference. They do the same thing. So if you have MSN messenger, look me up under Dweezleroo@msn.com.
We can't chat as if we were big CEOs, bleck. Much Love!!
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Free Will Astrology for this week.....
I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What symbolic offering might put you in the right mood to deal proactively with potential problems in 2007? I've decided on a set of those specially-designed clothes-storage bags that allow you to suck all the air out, compressing your sweaters and pants so that they take up significantly less space in your luggage or closet. Hopefully these bags would inspire you to come up with creative applications of the "less is more" principle, which will be a recurring theme for you in the coming months.
I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What symbolic offering might put you in the right mood to deal proactively with potential problems in 2007? I've decided on a set of those specially-designed clothes-storage bags that allow you to suck all the air out, compressing your sweaters and pants so that they take up significantly less space in your luggage or closet. Hopefully these bags would inspire you to come up with creative applications of the "less is more" principle, which will be a recurring theme for you in the coming months.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Sunday, December 17, 2006
The Journey
by Mary Oliver
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.
by Mary Oliver
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.
In School we are going to be exploring poetry and art to discover movement and poetics. So, in lieu of that experience, I am going to start posting poetry and art that inspires me on my blog to share it with you and have central place to be inspired from.
Much Love, Jillian
"Wild Geese" by Mary Oliver
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
"In Mind" by Denise Levertov
There's in my mind a woman
of innocence, unadorned but
fair-featured and smelling of
apples or grass. She wears
a utopian smock or shift, her hair
is light brown and smooth, and she
is kind and very clean without
ostentation--
but she has
no imagination
And there's a
turbulent moon-ridden girl
or old woman, or both,
dressed in opals and rags, feathers
and torn taffeta,
who knows strange songs
but she is not kind.
Much Love, Jillian
"Wild Geese" by Mary Oliver
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
"In Mind" by Denise Levertov
There's in my mind a woman
of innocence, unadorned but
fair-featured and smelling of
apples or grass. She wears
a utopian smock or shift, her hair
is light brown and smooth, and she
is kind and very clean without
ostentation--
but she has
no imagination
And there's a
turbulent moon-ridden girl
or old woman, or both,
dressed in opals and rags, feathers
and torn taffeta,
who knows strange songs
but she is not kind.
Free Will Astrology Cancer Horoscope for week of December 14, 2006
Imagine you're with a team of explorers in Antarctica. You're climbing the 2,000-foot granite spire called Rakekniven that thrusts up out of the ice in Queen Maud Land. The temperature is ten degrees below zero. There's not a plant or animal in sight. The blinding white emptiness of the wasteland beneath you fills you with desolate reverence, alienated awe, and soaring gratitude. As far as you are from everything that normally gives you comfort, you've rarely felt stronger or more alive. Got that scene in your mind's eye, Cancerian? Though you won't experience it literally, I bet you'll experience emotions similar to those you'd have if you did.
Ummm........I think I am experiencing that literally, without the snow.
Imagine you're with a team of explorers in Antarctica. You're climbing the 2,000-foot granite spire called Rakekniven that thrusts up out of the ice in Queen Maud Land. The temperature is ten degrees below zero. There's not a plant or animal in sight. The blinding white emptiness of the wasteland beneath you fills you with desolate reverence, alienated awe, and soaring gratitude. As far as you are from everything that normally gives you comfort, you've rarely felt stronger or more alive. Got that scene in your mind's eye, Cancerian? Though you won't experience it literally, I bet you'll experience emotions similar to those you'd have if you did.
Ummm........I think I am experiencing that literally, without the snow.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Thursday, December 07, 2006
This is video of my new home. The red head is my roommate Natalie from Puerto rico. She is gorgeous. The girl with the red glasses is Marta, from Portugal. She is gorgeous as well and hilarious. The curly haired boy is Jonas, he is Marta's (and now our friend too) friend from Portugal. He is not in LISPA. He is a singer. His voice is angelic. The tall curly haired guy is another of Marta's friends, Gonzalo, he stayed with us for a couple weeks. A very, VERY good housemate.
Anyways, much love, Jillian
I am going to endeavor to put pictures of my friends and classmates on my blog. Here is the first installment.
This is Karim (New York) and Pablo (Argentina, you can see more of him in my house party video). And the lovely lady with the guitar is Carrie (Nebraska). We got our guitars together. I like to jam with Carrie......
This is Karim (New York) and Pablo (Argentina, you can see more of him in my house party video). And the lovely lady with the guitar is Carrie (Nebraska). We got our guitars together. I like to jam with Carrie......
Monday, December 04, 2006
I want all of my friends to buy a ticket to London right now. You will arrive and I will take you this Art Installation:
http://www.hauserwirth.com/exhibitions/index.php?showone=1&exhibition_id=415&setloc=LONDON
Don't go through the pictures if you intend to go through the installation. The pictures tell you nothing of the experience and the journey of going throught his installation. It's mind blowing. It's a mix of a labryinth, set design, theme park, crime scene, privacy invasion, sweat shop, catacomb, archealogical dig....i could go on. Instead, I'm going back with my camcorder.
Phenomenal experience of environments and audience exploration. You have to crawl into small spaces, take in wide expanses of junk, be exposed to rooms your not sure you should or even if you want to be in.
I don't want to say much more than......yes. See this.
http://www.hauserwirth.com/exhibitions/index.php?showone=1&exhibition_id=415&setloc=LONDON
Don't go through the pictures if you intend to go through the installation. The pictures tell you nothing of the experience and the journey of going throught his installation. It's mind blowing. It's a mix of a labryinth, set design, theme park, crime scene, privacy invasion, sweat shop, catacomb, archealogical dig....i could go on. Instead, I'm going back with my camcorder.
Phenomenal experience of environments and audience exploration. You have to crawl into small spaces, take in wide expanses of junk, be exposed to rooms your not sure you should or even if you want to be in.
I don't want to say much more than......yes. See this.
Friday, December 01, 2006
This is my free will astrology for this week. Whew....
"They might be small, spiky, and spineless, but they're still family." So begins a National Geographic story about sea urchins, creatures that biologists now know have far more in common with humans than anyone realized. (They share 7,077 genes with us, and are actually on the same branch of the evolutionary tree of life.) Let that opening sentence be your motto during the coming week, Cancerian, as you adjust your attitude towards not only the runts and outcasts of your tribe, but also towards the parts of yourself that you tend to neglect and underestimate. Now say this: "They might be small, spiky, and spineless, but they're still family."
"They might be small, spiky, and spineless, but they're still family." So begins a National Geographic story about sea urchins, creatures that biologists now know have far more in common with humans than anyone realized. (They share 7,077 genes with us, and are actually on the same branch of the evolutionary tree of life.) Let that opening sentence be your motto during the coming week, Cancerian, as you adjust your attitude towards not only the runts and outcasts of your tribe, but also towards the parts of yourself that you tend to neglect and underestimate. Now say this: "They might be small, spiky, and spineless, but they're still family."
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